Love & Forgiveness

The last couple of Sundays, I've gone back to the church I grew up in for services.  Many of the members there are part of my extended family and it's meant a lot to have some of them come up to me and tell me how much I'm loved and how happy they are to see me at the services.  It's helped me realize that letting disagreements take control robs you of time with those who, even when there's a disagreement, love you.

Today, I sat in church and reflected on an infant sent to us over 2000 years ago; a child who as an adult modeled unconditional love and taught us about forgiveness.  When you let anger and hurt feelings take control of your heart, you're letting a form of evil have control in a situation.  In finding the ability to move past hurt and move forward with love, you are doing what Jesus taught us to do.  I was Googling verses on forgiveness today as I reflected on what I wanted to say in this blog.  The verse below seemed to speak to me today:

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  Colossians 3:13

The ability to forgive and let go of hurt is one of the biggest challenges any person can face.  I hope and pray that during the holiday season, those who are holding grudges and struggling with being able to forgive and let go of hurt find the ability to do so.  Grudges and hurt only lead to suffering and misery for all involved.  This is the time of year to remember that God so loved the world that he gave us his only son.  If he can give us that gift, how can we not share the gift of love and forgiveness with one another.

Teaching Kids The Value of Money and About Gratitude

I've been reading about the family that has decided to cancel Christmas and it has me reflecting on what is being bought for children today.  I can remember as a child, Christmas was a special time and my brother and I often got very nice gifts at the holidays from "Santa", our parents and grandparents. At the same time, we were raised with a realistic view of what we could have and what things cost.  I earned an allowance from an early age and was encouraged to buy some things for myself to learn about the value of money.  We also learned about doing for others in need at the holidays.  At church, we collected items for the homeless shelter, observed our parents working with others at the church to help families in need around the holidays and learned that valuable lesson of what it means to be blessed to have the things we have.  

As a teacher, I now work in a school that serves the kids of those families in need and see those without coats, enough to eat and those in homes where neglect and abuse happen.  I have also worked with and known kids who come from homes where their parents can afford to buy them a multitude of things they want.  I have seen families who indulge kids with things to make up for being busy at work or as a way to try an make up for something unfortunate that may have happened in the child's life.   My observation is that many of these kids haven't necessarily developed an entitlement attitude; it's that they haven't learned what it means to earn some of these things that they have been given.   

 I often worry when buying things for my boyfriend's daughter, that I may be guilty of indulging her wants and not taking the time to teacher her about the value of earning things or that maybe we are not doing enough to teach her about the fact she is blessed to have things and not every child out there has these things.  As one of the adults in her life, I know that I have a responsibility to teach her about setting goals and working toward earning some of the things she may want.  I also have the responsibility of helping her develop an attitude of gratitude and a knowledge of the importance of doing for others.  The question I think many adults in the life of a child have to wrestle with is how do I teach these lessons in a world where so many of the kids around have.  Even my students who live in poverty talk about having iPads and X-Boxes at home because their families want them to be like most kids in our materialistic society and have these things.  These families go in debt or do without necessities to give their kids the things that are valued currently in the have the latest and greatest gadget culture.    

So, how do we teach our children to appreciate having things, that it's okay not to have everything our friends have and that some things we have are earned, not handed to us easily?  I think it starts with learning about money, it's value and it's use.  At school, part of the Social Studies curriculum is financial literacy.  The thing is, teaching kids about money at school doesn't ingrain habits of how to use money day to day.  Our kids get those lessons by watching and learning from the adults in their lives.  It's easy to want to protect kids and not let them know about money and the problems that come with managing expenses.  At the same time, it's important that kids hear about what things cost so they can learn to value what they have.  I know of some parents who explained to their kids that Santa has elves to pay and reindeer to feed and sends a bill for the things left at Christmas.  These parents gave their kids a budget once they were old enough and the kids had to make their wish list based on what that budget was.  Another family I know only allows their children three gifts at Christmas in connection with the gifts of the Three Kings who visited Baby Jesus. Kids earning an allowance by doing chores to contribute to the family and having that money to buy some of your wants on your own is another way to teach the value of money.  Talking about saving for something for the family, such as a new big screen TV, is another way to teach the lesson of valuing money.

There's also making sure kids learn those lessons about helping those in need.  Even if you are not involved in a church that provides opportunities for your child to learn these lessons, you can teach about helping those in need.  Taking your child to choose and buy a toy to donate to a toy drive, having your child help pack up old toys and clothes to donate to a charitable organization that helps those in need provides the opportunity to have those talks that develop the attitude of gratitude.  

Truly, the challenge of avoiding the "entitlement" attitude being formed in children is up to the adults in their lives.  Adults have to not give in to that peer pressure from society to give their kids or themselves everything wanted in our materialistic society.  It is our job to instill the attitude of gratitude and the ability to work and save in order to obtain some of the things we want.