Happy New Year....

Gee, Happy New Year to me....let's end 2005 - a wacky and stress filled year - on a perfect note - with a jury duty summons in the mail box. Yep...that's how one hell of a year has ended. I guess it's suffice to say I'm glad 2005 is coming to a close...and February 7th most likely will not be fun....

Some parents....

Part of my job is parent conferences. Most of the time, I deal with parents who are concerned about their child's education and they are doing the best they can to help their child learn. However, there is that occasional parent who leaves a teacher wanting to scream. I had one of those conferences this week. The child in question has already missed 12 days of school this year. Her records from the previous school show she missed 54 days last year. I made the accurate comment in the conference that in order for this child to make academic growth, she need to be at school consistently. The parent then goes off about how she only keeps her child out when necessary. As the conference progressed, the fact that the child didn't miss a lot of first grade came out and the parent remarked that was because her roommate at the time got up in the morning and made sure the child got to school. All I can say is that I'm lucky I didn't bite my tongue in two trying to remain professional and not go off at that remark. I stood my firm ground that when the child is truly sick, of course I want her to stay home. However, she needs to be at school consistently. The conference ended with the parent informing me that because of an emergency, the child will be out of school on the 18th. I've never met anyone who could forecast having an emergency 10 days before it happens. Is that a special form of ESP????

So, do I laugh at the comedy of me being in this situation, or shake my head at the soap opera this conference turned out to be?

This and that....

Today is a short Word of advice...

Gentlemen, if you want to meet an interesting, fun woman through an online dating service, don't make your online ID name likeamaid.

Procrastinating.....

Well, I'm procrastinating on doing the teacher homework this afternoon. I hate the writers cramp that comes with doing the 4 sheet carbon report cards....that and just doing all the stuff I have to do period. This year, it seems like I have this immovable mountain of work to do and no time to get it done. I guess that's part of teaching a 2 grade combination - with double planning to do, I go nuts when it's time to sit down and get to it because I just can't seem to see the end of the pile of stuff to get done.

Since I've been procrastinating, I've done some online shopping - ordered shades for my grandmother and hot tub parts for my parents. It seems that I'm the only person they can think of who can function to shop online - LOL. I've also spent some time browsing Match.com today. That new who's viewed your profile deal can be rather interesting along with some of the e-mails I've received in the last few day. Is the moon full or do I just seem like a gal who can handle anything since it seems I've attracted the attention of a 39 year old grandpa (no desire here to be a grandma - step or otherwise at this stage in life), some guy in the Middle East who's looking for a woman who speaks Arabic (that's definitely not me), a guy who hates liberals because he deems them to be communist (card carrying Democrat here - didn't know that made me a communist) and then there was the guy who started his e-mail off with "Hey Babe - how hot you look" - even my 2nd and 3rd grade students have better pick-up lines than that. Yes, there are some normal guys out there I've exchanged winks and e-mails with...but it was just strange that I received 3 e-mails and looks from some guys who need to crawl back under a rock somewhere because I'm now ready to crawl under a rock of my own and hide from the strange and weird ones who are contacting me. Thank goodness for the many more looks, a few winks and some e-mails I've had from guys who seem somewhat normal - that at least make me feel like I'm not a magnet for the oddball guys out there.

Ok...enough procrastinating and ranting....off to do some school work I guess. Time to make a spelling list...

Death's Door & Wallyworld....

Well, I promised that I would take the time this year to post those amusing student stories in my blog. We've only had two days of school so far and I can tell this has the makings of an amusing classroom of kids. On Friday, we shared the poem, "Get Out of Bed" from www.gigglepoetry.com. The gist of the poem is that the principal is faking being sick and doesn't want to go to school because everyone hates him. One of the lines has the phrase, "I'm sure I'm knocking at death's door." After we discussed the poem, I had the kids draw pictures of different events in the poem. Two of my boys, working together, drew death's door - on the front of a giant Wal-Mart - LOL. Just when you thought there was nothing else Wallyworld carried...I now know to look for Death's Door over in the hardware aisle- LOL.

The other amusing moment of the short week....A paper the kids did had the question if you could ask your teacher one question, what would it be?....The 2nd grader response to that is "Do you have a big butt?"

Today, at church, I received a Wal-Mart gift card as an appreciation gift for teaching Sunday School last year. After this week's amusing stories, I guess I'm supposed to haul my big butt over to Wal-Mart and see if I can purchase death's door for $10....

Hodgepodge....

Farewell, Summer Vacation
Well, I'm finally going to get back to blogging. The time I was home the last few weeks of summer vacation was pretty boring and to be honest - I was lazy. I didn't want to think long enough to blog. All in all, it was a busy summer as I think back - trips to the NC mountains, NYC, Myrtle Beach, Charleston and Augusta. I've had lots of fun and my credit cards bills reflect it - note to self...stay away from shopping for a very long time.



Alarm Clocks
I went back to work this past week....teachers have crappy wake-up hours. The alarm clock at 5 AM is pure HELL!!! Of course, I have it set about a half hour earlier than I really need to get up - I need that half hour to join reality. Forget pay raises...I think I'd vote to get banker's hours so I could sleep later.

School
In case you weren't aware, teachers actually want to work when they show up for teacher workdays. At least, I actually did. Instead, my assistant and I walked into carpet chaos. Over the summer, the school was painted and re-carpeted with few exceptions. My classroom was slated to be a carpet exception due to lack of funds until my outgoing principal called the finance office and pushed them to find the money to recarpet my classroom since it was coming up in places and posed a safety hazard. They came through, but it meant the carpet for my classroom was ordered separately and not installed before teachers came to work. Sharon and I spent 3 teacher workdays not able to do anything other than organize a closet while waiting for the carpet installers to arrive. Why we even worked, I don't have a clue...we didn't get much of anything done until Thursday at 3. On the flip side, we have the most organized closet in the school.....

Gas Pump Idiots
Yesterday, I was out running errands...and since I was near the gas station with the cheapest prices in town - and with prices where they are now, you have to save every penny you can - I stopped in. First, I pull up behind someone at a pump who is having a conversation with someone who walked over from another pump. Now, people are waiting in line to use the pumps, and these two fools are chattering away. Finally, the guy turns around and puts the nozzle in his hand into his car's gas tank and I spot that orange "pump out of service" bag on the nozzle. First he's slowing people down by chatting, then you see he's an idiot trying to use a broken pump and to top it all off, because he had been holding the damn nozzle out of my line of sight, I now I have to move to another pump line and start the turn waiting all over again. So, I back up, move over a few pumps to where a teen is trying to put gas in the car for her mother. The key word here is TRYING I soon realize. No where in town lets a person get gas without paying first or putting that credit card in the pump. This kid can't get the pump to work....because she hasn't done a thing about paying. Her mother is sitting in the driver's seat talking to the other passenger in the car and is oblivious to the difficulties her kid is having. I think the child had never pumped gas before - Hello, parent - get up off your lazy butt and get out and show the kid how to do this! Finally, the child - realizing her mother isn't going to help her, hits the call button to ask the clerk for help. The clerk tells her she needs to put money in the pump and the kid finally knocks on the window of the car and her mother hands her cash to put in the pumps dollar bill receiver. Now, considering my luck so far at the gas pump this day...The bills are full of folds and the kid has to spend 2 more minutes straightening the things out to get the machine to take them. Finally, she gets the car gassed and they leave - I get my gas and then encounter the line to get out of the parking lot....It was Gas Station Hell....Wish I had one of those contraptions that turns trash into fuel like Doc in "Back to the Future" had. I could come up with garbage easier and never have to endure Gas Station Hell again.

Book Tag...It Seems I'm It...

My friend Chris tagged me...so here's my Book Meme:

Total number of books that I own:
I know I own 82 e-books (and keep at least 5-6 on my Palm at all times) – after that, between paperbacks of my own and the library of books in my classroom (I think I’m pushing 1,000 there – I’m working on leveling and cataloging them this summer) – Basically, too many to count…

Last book I bought:
Blue Dahlia by Nora Roberts

Last book I read:
The Perfect Summer by Luanne Rice

Books I am currently reading:
Enchanted, Inc. by Shanna Swendson
Reading with Meaning by Debbie Miller
Macromedia Studio MX 2004 for Dummies

Five books that mean a lot to me:
The Bible
The Giving Tree by Shel Silerstein (I share it with my class every year)
A book of memories my Great-Uncle Brock wrote about growing up in the Depression and being in the 82nd Airborne during World War II that he had printed and bound at Kinko’s to share with the family
Superfudge by Judy Blume (my paternal Grandmother bought me a hardback copy of it for Christmas when it first came out – a major feat for her on a shoestring income)
Lucky Man by Michael J. Fox (his biography reminded me that no matter what challenges you face in life, your attitude and determination can help you face them head on with dignity)

Five people I tag to do their own book meme:
Since I don’t know enough bloggers yet to tag, I’m going to also post this on a message board I frequent and tag some other internet friends for this task.

Interesting E-mail

Well, we all get the forwarded e-mail jokes, prayers, thoughts, chain letters, etc. Some days, I have tons of time to kill and I'll read them all...other days, I only read the ones forwarded by friends who I know only send me the funny stuff and then there are the days where I don't have time and don't read them at all. I'm sure that's true for most of us. Today's best e-mail was "Useful Expressions for High Stress Days" and I decided to use them for my blog and see if anyone would like to add a few more of their own in the replies:



"Do they ever shut upon your planet?"

"When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."

"Well, this day was a total waste of makeup."

"Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

"I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one."

"I hate everybody. And you're next."

"Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen."

"How can I miss you if you won't go away?"

"I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

"You say I'm a B*@#$...like it's a bad thing."

"I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."

"How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"

"Is it time for your medication or mine?"

"And your crybaby whiny-baby opinion would be...?"

"Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."

"Guys have feelings too. But like, who cares?"

"Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win."

"You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP."

"I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people."

"Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it."

A Child's View

Well, I had one of those moments today that just remind you how precious life is and how blessed one can truly be. I was sitting on the beach today watching a little boy who appeared to be around 5-6 years old play in the water. What made this moment a treasure was that the little boy had Down’s syndrome. Watching him try to decide if this water that was washing up to his feet and then retract was something to trust was a moment that just touched my heart. This little boy had that expression of complete joy and wonder as he watched the gulls, played in the sand and finally decided that if his dad held his hand, the water could be trusted not to hurt him. It was just magical and reminded me yet again why I went in to teaching – to see children grow, explore and learn – to see those moments of joy and wonder at new discoveries as one learns.

Critics....

Well, after reading badgod's response to my last blog, I'm taking a minute away from my latest vacation and that seat on the ocean front balcony to climb up on a soapbox. Who gives anyone the right to criticize one's life choices - especially when you don't know all the information behind said life choices? I think it says very clearly in my About Me statement regarding my living situation that it may seem pathetic to some, but they don't know the entire story and frankly, it's none of their damn business! So, to the critics out there in the world who think they have the right to pass judgement on the lives and choices made by others - until you've walked a mile in that person's shoes and experienced what they have experienced in life - keep your opinions to yourself. Think whatever you wish, and keep it to yourself unless asked for an opinion. As I recall, in that blog, I asked for opinions on Speed Dating...not your two cents worth on my living situation. If you don't like the way I live my life and the choices I make, I'll be happy to send you some Legos so you can build a bridge and get over it.

Speed Dating - to try or not to try????

Ok...I accepted long ago that my dating life SUCKS!!! It's been that way all the way back to date #1 with the geek who thought it would be cool to neck in his church parking lot. Definitely not the place to get your first kiss - especially from the unskilled geek. Since then, I've been the queen of bad blind dates. Let me see...the worst was about five years ago when my cousin, Becky, set me up with Richard...Let's just say that braces on someone pushing 30 set off warning signals the minute he walked up. We proceeded to walk around a golf tournament...and ended up at a party in my aunt's backyard. It was so obvious that this was a disaster that my uncle's best friend pulled me to the side wanted to know who I PO'd to deserve the torture of this blind date. When Richard didn't take the hint to go away (I went into my aunt's house and locked the door behind me), someone finally said they needed a designated driver and let me drive them home so I could escape. Still can't get over the guy's nerve to call me the next week...I avoided the phone like the plague. Finally, the gnat grew a brain, got a clue and left me alone. Then, there's been internet dating....the computer geek who couldn't follow road signs to the interstate when leaving a hockey game. Now, on this date I gave him this huge opening of - "I've never been to a hockey game and know nothing about the game" - major hint to have the game explained to me...instead, there was over 2 hours of silence while he was engrossed in hockey. The topper was when I heard on the ride back to the restaurant my car was parked at - "without my GPS, I don't know where I'm at." Read the damn road signs....or even better, go back the way you came. Finally, got back to my car and left that one in the dust. So, after experiences like that - why am I now considering parting with $35 to try Speed Dating??? The 6 minute limit is appealing....you can get rid of the duds quickly. One of my favorite t-shirts says "I identify with Dorthy....I seem to attract men who are cowards, have no heart, or are in need of a brain!" I can't help worrying that the 12 men I'll meet in a speed dating event will fall into all of these categories. On the flip side, the Internet dating thing hasn't panned out - although a couple of winks and an e-mail came down the pike today. Fix ups aren't working, during the school year my 5 am alarm clock and going anywhere that requires staying awake beyond 10 PM prohits much bar hopping and internet dating has been a waste of money (damn, the things I could do with those membership fees...plane tickets...got to stop paying those membership fees). So, where does that leave this single girl...wrestling with Speed Dating...to try or not to try?

Three Plus Hours of Weather....

There are few things in life that really and truly irk me beyond belief. My local CBS affiliate - WFMY in Greensboro - IRKED me beyond belief today. Since their radar showed possible funnel clouds, the went on the air with a three hour weather broadcast this afternoon....THREE FREAKIN HOURS of looking at their radar and hearing their reporters and weather people struggling to find a new way to repeat the same information over and over again. During this time, there were no reports of actual tornadoes touching the ground - which would be REAL and IMPORTANT NEWS - just these people rambling on and on about where this cloud and that cloud now were on radar and repeats of information about thunder storm and tornado watches - information I could read if it were scrolling across the bottom as my favorite CBS Soaps - As The World Turns and Guiding Light aired. Instead of the big love scene between Mike and Katie, finding out more about the mystery surrounding Carly's father and watching Olivia and Reva learn that Nate was really Alfred, I watched the radar for two hours. Frustrated soap fan that I am, I decided to e-mail the station and see if they were going to re-air the show overnight and received and answer of no. Ok, that didn't satisfy me - so I pulled out all the stops and used the information I had as Robert's fan club vice president and webmaster about stations around the country that had rebroadcasts scheduled overnight thanks to pre-emptions this morning resulting from the coverage of the bombings in London. It's sad to say that Greensboro doesn't think they can follow in the footsteps of New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Detroit and Boston. Apparently, the local CBS station doesn't see itself as big and important enough to lobby CBS with a request to rebroadcast the CBS shows due to the over done local weather break...Ok...I'll get off my soapbox now...and go e-mail someone somewhere else in this great country and see if I can get a tape of Mike and Katie sent to me.

Captive Client

The things you do for family....in this case, I'm the captive client of my cousin, Bri - the personal trainer. Never mention the need to get in shape in front of relatives who live to torture you using these machines that I'm sure were instruments of torture in the Middle Ages. The main reason is there's no escape - you can't quit because they know where you live and how to find you. My captive clienthood began last October - I figured the sore muscle component would end after the first few weeks of working out - I was SO WRONG! Bri, who apparently has watched too much Emeril recently, announced to me last week that she was taking my workout and "kicking it up a notch". What exactly does that mean? For me, sore armpits. Now, you know - I can handle sore biceps, triceps, abs, legs...you know there will be visible results there eventually and you expect those muscles to feel a burn from time to time. However, I have yet to see flab on anyone's armpits - let alone my own. Then again, I've never really looked - who cares what the armpits look like on anyone - as long as they've used deodorant and don't smell, I could care less about armpits. That said, this kicked up workout has left me with armpit pain anytime I raise my arms - which did convince me today was not the day to wash windows. The worst part was putting on a dress for a meeting I had to go to this morning - the contortions I usually have to go through to zip the thing in the back since I was home alone had me gritting my teeth. I gave serious thought to cutting the blasted thing off when I got home to avoid reaching for the zipper. I did go through the contortions and got the thing off....and decided that I needed to raid the Hershey Kiss stash as medication for my pain and suffering. Of course, I'm sure if Bri finds out about that, she'll kick the workout up another notch to work off the calories...Do I really have to go back on Friday? Yeah, I do....otherwise she'll hunt me - the captive client - down!

Mom's Who Volunteer You....

Ok...I love my Mother, but too often she assumes I have no plans (which all too often is true...but I digress) and tells people I'll do this or that - usually favors for people involving computers and cameras. Well, we get to the weekend of the 4th and I'm thinking I'll go to downtown Greensboro and see the Revolutionary War re-enactors at Blandwood - spend my Sunday afternoon out somewhere that has potential for meeting new people besides Match.com. I had my entire Sunday mapped out in my head on Friday afternoon and was feeling good about a weekend where I had something to do. Saturday morning, I head off with the top down on the convertible. After a stop to pick up my cousin, Bri, we arrive at my friend, Cindy's house. As we're sitting in the kitchen chatting, the cell phone rings - it's my mother calling from the church telling me she's volunteered me to video tape a funeral on Sunday afternoon. I'm sure if your reading this, you're thinking what person in their right mind wants a tape of a funeral (in this case it's the grandchild who couldn't get here from Maine for the service). Cindy & Bri's faces as they listened to my conversation told me they were floored at the concept. What's really bad is this is the 3rd funeral I've taped at my church. How did I get this job and am I stuck with it for life??? Oh...I remember how - Mom. There are disadvantages to your mother having her office at the church and being a technologically literate person who's known for having time to spare in the summer. So, I guess now I'm off to relive the funeral as I dub it to DVD to mail to Maine.